SocialBlossom

Make good choices · for autistic and ADHD kids, 3 to 10

Problem-solving and safe choices for autistic and ADHD kids

Make choices small and visible: two options, with pictures if they help. Practise “what might happen next?” and “what's our Plan B?” in play, so the words are familiar when a real problem comes. Talk about choices, not about being a good or bad kid.

By the SocialBlossom team · Updated 27 October 2026 · 5 sources

What it is

Stopping, thinking ahead and choosing

Responsible decision-making is making caring and helpful choices about what we do and how we treat others. For young children, it is mostly small moments: stopping before acting, guessing what might happen, and staying safe.

Schools call this Responsible decision-making, one of the five CASEL social-emotional skills.

  • Choosing between two things without getting stuck
  • Stopping before running into the road
  • Guessing what might happen: “If I push, the tower falls”
  • Making a Plan B when Plan A doesn't work
  • Thinking about whether something is fair to everyone

For autistic and ADHD kids

Why choosing can be harder, and what helps

Too many options

Open questions like “What do you want to do?” can be a lot to process. Two clear options, with pictures if they help, make choosing easier, and still give your child real control.

Short scripts help

In a school trial with autistic 8 to 11 year olds, a program using short scripts like “Plan A, Plan B” and “big deal or little deal” improved problem-solving and flexibility more than a social skills group.

Social stories have limits

In the largest trial of social stories (249 autistic children aged 4 to 11), children met more of their own personal goals, but wider social measures didn't change. Use them for specific, real situations.

Helps

  • Offering two clear choices
  • Asking “what might happen next?” about books and play
  • Practising “Plan B” on small, low-stakes changes
  • Giving time to think before an answer

Skip

  • “Good kid / bad kid” language
  • Too many open questions at once
  • Rushing a child who needs time to process
  • Teaching safety only once, or only by telling

Age by age

What it can look like, and what to practise

A rough guide. Autistic and ADHD children often build these skills on their own timeline, and that is fine: start from where your child is today, not from their age.

3 to 5

Often: Starting to avoid danger, like not touching a hot oven, and changing behaviour depending on where they are.

Practise: Two-picture choices. “Safe or not safe?” games about home and the street.

6 to 8

Often: Guessing simple consequences and understanding why rules exist, especially with examples.

Practise: “What happens next?” and “Plan B” games. Simple fairness talks.

9 to 10

Often: Weighing a few options and thinking about others. Planning ahead keeps developing through the teen years.

Practise: “Big deal or little deal?” Talking through a choice afterwards: what helped?

Try this at home · 5 minutes

The what-if game

Small, made-up problems, practised in play, so “Plan B” is a familiar idea when a real one comes.

  1. Pick a tiny what-if: “What if the park is closed today?”
  2. Ask: “Is that a big deal or a little deal?”
  3. Think of two Plan Bs together. Silly ones count.
  4. Pick one, and say who it helps: “The library! We both like books.”
  5. Next time a real small change happens, use the same words: “Plan B time.”

Practise it in SocialBlossom

Thinking-ahead and safe-choices games

11 games, from Starter to Challenging. 3 are free. No wrong answers, no timers, and a calm voice reads everything.

Safe or Not Safe?, a game in SocialBlossomFree

Safe or Not Safe?

Look at everyday moments and decide: safe, or not safe?

What Comes Next?, a game in SocialBlossom

What Comes Next?

Look at what's happening and guess what comes next.

Get the Facts First, a game in SocialBlossomFree

Get the Facts First

Check what really happened before deciding what to do.

  • Safe or Not Safe?Learn what keeps us safeStarterFree
  • What Comes Next?Guess what happensEasy
  • Pick the Right ThingMake the right choiceEasy
  • Get the Facts FirstCheck first, then decideMediumFree
  • Do Your PartHelp out and pitch inMedium
  • CuriosityWonder, explore, stay openMedium
  • What Happens Next?Predict what happensMedium
  • Safety ScoutSpot risks, stay safeMedium
  • Fair or Unfair?Think about fairnessMedium
  • The Right CallThink through tricky choicesChallengingFree
  • Stop, Think, Act!Solve problems step by stepChallenging
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Guides for parents

Questions

Questions parents ask

How do I teach my autistic child right from wrong?

Be concrete and visual: talk about specific actions and what happens after them, not about being good or bad. Stories and games with clear examples, like safe or not safe, help, and so does explaining the reason behind a rule.

How do I teach stranger safety?

Practise concrete rules for real places (“stay where I can see you”, “ask me first”), use pictures or a short story about your own situations, and practise in play more than once. Simple, repeated rules work better than general warnings.

How can I help with rigid thinking?

Practise flexibility on small, low-stakes changes first, using the same short words each time, like “Plan B” or “little deal”. A school program built on these scripts improved flexibility in autistic children in a trial.

How do I offer choices without overwhelming my child?

Offer two options, show them if you can, and give time to answer. If your child can't choose, it's fine to choose for them this time and try again later.

Start with Safe or Not Safe?

It's free, and a calm way to talk about staying safe at home and outside.

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