FreeMeet the Feelings
Meet happy, sad, angry and scared: on a face, in the body, and when they happen.
Know my feelings · for autistic and ADHD kids, 3 to 10
How to teach emotions to an autistic or ADHD child
Start from the body, not the word. Notice together what a feeling does (a tight tummy, hot cheeks, buzzy hands), then offer a name for it. Practise when your child is calm, a little every day, and let pictures and play do the heavy lifting.
What it is
Knowing what you feel, and why
Self-awareness is understanding your own feelings and thoughts, and how they change what you do. For a young child, it starts with three small steps: noticing that something is happening inside, giving it a name, and linking it to what just happened.
Schools call this Self-awareness, one of the five CASEL social-emotional skills.
- Saying “I’m cross” or pointing to a picture, instead of only crying or hitting
- Noticing body clues: “My tummy feels funny”
- Telling apart feelings that look alike, like worried and excited
- Knowing what helps them, like a quiet corner or a squeeze
- Knowing what they are good at, and what feels hard
For autistic and ADHD kids
Why naming feelings can be harder, and what helps
Body first, words second
Many autistic people find it hard to identify and describe their own feelings. One review of 15 studies found this in about half of autistic participants and about 1 in 20 others. It is common, not universal. Starting from body clues gives your child something concrete to notice.
Feelings can arrive fast
For many ADHD children, feelings come on quickly and strongly. That is part of ADHD, not a lack of effort. Naming the feeling afterwards, once everyone is calm, often works better than in the moment.
Coaching helps all children
In a trial with parents of 4 and 5 year olds, coaching parents to name feelings and talk about their causes improved children's understanding of emotions. Those families were not chosen for autism or ADHD, but the approach is gentle and easy to try.
Helps
- Name your own feelings out loud: “I feel frustrated, so I’m taking a breath”
- Ask about the body: “Is your tummy tight? Are your hands hot?”
- Offer two words to choose from, or pictures to point to
- Accept “I don’t know” as a real answer
Skip
- Insisting your child names the feeling right now
- Treating “I don’t know” as being difficult
- Teaching mid-meltdown. Wait until everyone is calm
- Assuming a flat face means no feeling
Age by age
What it can look like, and what to practise
A rough guide. Autistic and ADHD children often build these skills on their own timeline, and that is fine: start from where your child is today, not from their age.
3 to 5
Often: Big feelings shown through the body and actions. Many children start to name happy, sad, angry and scared with picture support.
Practise: Name feelings for them as they happen. Picture cards and books with clear faces.
6 to 8
Often: More feeling words, and starting to link a feeling to its cause: “I’m sad because the game ended.”
Practise: Body clues for each feeling. Telling apart look-alikes, like nervous and excited.
9 to 10
Often: Noticing two feelings at once, and how thoughts change feelings. This keeps growing into the teen years.
Practise: Rating how big a feeling is. Spotting what helps them, and asking for it.
Try this at home · 5 minutes
The bedtime body check-in
Lying down, lights low. It works because your child is calm, and the body is easier to talk about than feelings.
- Start at the toes: “What do your feet feel like? Heavy, wiggly, still?”
- Move up slowly: tummy, chest, hands, face. One question each.
- If something sounds like a feeling, offer a word: “Tight tummy… could that be a little worried?”
- If they say no or don’t know, that is fine. Move on.
- End with one good thing from the day, and how it felt.
Practise it in SocialBlossom
Feelings games for autistic and ADHD kids
14 games, from Starter to Challenging. 5 are free. No wrong answers, no timers, and a calm voice reads everything.
Free
FreePeek-a-boo Feelings
Open the curtain and name the hiding friend's feeling. A different tap gets a gentle clue.
Where Do I Feel It?
Find where a feeling shows up in the body: a fluttery tummy, tight fists, a warm chest.
- Meet the FeelingsWhat each feeling looks likeStarterFree
- Peek-a-boo FeelingsFind the hiding feelingsStarterFree
- Emotion BubblesPop the matching feelingStarterFree
- Feelings DoorsOpen the right doorStarter
- Mirror MatchRead faces and feelingsEasy
- Feeling VolumeA little bit or a lot?Easy
- How Do I Feel Right Now?A feelings check-inEasy
- Same or Different?Compare how people feelEasy
- Where Do I Feel It?Find the feeling in your bodyMedium
- Body CluesNotice what your body tells youMedium
- What Happened?Understand feelings from eventsMediumFree
- Tiny CausesWhy does she feel that way?Medium
- Two at OnceTwo feelings togetherChallengingFree
- Why Do I Feel This?Find the reason behind a feelingChallenging
Read more
Guides for parents
Building Emotional Vocabulary: A Guide for Parents of Neurodivergent Children
Enhancing Body Awareness in Neurodivergent Children: Strategies and Activities
Understanding Self-Awareness in Autistic Children Through SEL
Emotion Charts for Autistic Kids: Personalized Approaches for Better Emotional Understanding
The Power of Daily Emotion Check-Ins for Kids: A Guide for Parents
Self-Awareness Milestones in Children: A Guide for Parents
Questions
Questions parents ask
Do autistic children feel emotions?
Yes. Autistic children feel the full range of emotions. Some show them differently, for example through movement, stimming or a calm face, and some find it hard to put a name to what they feel. That is why starting from body clues helps.
How do I help my child name a feeling?
Name it for them first, in the moment and without pressure: “You threw the block. I think you felt frustrated.” Later, when calm, offer two words or two pictures to choose from. Over time, many children start using the words themselves.
What is interoception?
Interoception is noticing signals from inside your body, like hunger, a racing heart or a tight tummy. Body check-ins and “where do I feel it?” games practise it. A small study with autistic students suggests that practising body awareness may help with feelings too, but the research is still early.
Why is my autistic child so emotional?
Feelings can build up from things others don't notice: noise, light, a change of plan, a long day of holding it together. Big feelings are a signal that something is too much, not bad behaviour. Spotting the triggers and building in calm time often helps more than talking in the moment.
At what age can children name their feelings?
Many children name simple feelings like happy, sad and angry by about 3 to 4, and keep adding words for years. Autistic and ADHD children often follow their own timeline. Start from what your child does today.
Sources
- CASEL. What is the CASEL framework?
- Kinnaird, Stewart & Tchanturia (2019). Investigating alexithymia in autism: a systematic review and meta-analysis. Eur Psychiatry.
- Shaw et al. (2014). Emotion dysregulation in attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Am J Psychiatry.
- Havighurst et al. (2010). Tuning in to Kids: improving emotion socialization practices in parents of preschool children, findings from a community trial. J Child Psychol Psychiatry.
- Mahler et al. (2022). Impact of an interoception-based program on emotion regulation in autistic children. Occup Ther Int.
- CDC. Important milestones: your child by three years
Written by the SocialBlossom team for parents. It is general information, not a diagnosis or a plan for your child.
Start with Meet the Feelings
It's free, about five minutes long, and a gentle first step for children who find feelings hard to name.