Spitting Nicely: Learning Good Manners

When to use this story

This story is a wonderful tool for parents, teachers, and therapists to use when guiding preschoolers in understanding social situations and the importance of manners. Use "Spitting Nicely: Learning Good Manners" during circle time, small group activities, or one-on-one sessions. It can be especially helpful when children are learning to navigate social interactions in a variety of settings, such as at home, preschool, or playdates. The story provides a gentle approach to discussing the feelings around spitting and encourages children to think about how their actions can affect their friends.

What's inside

In "Spitting Nicely," children are introduced to a relatable character who candidly expresses their feelings about spitting. The story begins with the character's playful acknowledgment of the fun sounds that spitting makes but quickly transitions to the implications of this behavior on their friendships. Through engaging illustrations and simple, relatable language, the narrative unfolds with moments where the character learns that while it can be amusing, spitting can also be messy and upsetting to others. The character's journey is supported by their mother, who introduces them to a more appropriate place for spitting. This story serves as an effective springboard for discussions about empathy, kindness, and respect for others' feelings.

What kids learn

• Understanding Boundaries: Children will learn that certain behaviors, like spitting, can have social consequences.
• Empathy Development: The story encourages children to consider how their actions affect their friends and loved ones.
• Expressing Emotions: Kids will practice articulating their feelings and recognizing the emotions of others in social situations.
• Problem-Solving Skills: The character's experience leads to discussions about alternative behaviors that respect both personal feelings and the feelings of others.

Research context

The tradition of using social stories to enhance social understanding and skills is well-established in educational practices. Pioneered by Carol Gray, social stories provide a narrative framework that allows children to explore social norms and expectations in a safe and engaging manner. Research in narrative-based social-emotional learning (SEL) suggests that storytelling can be an effective way to teach interpersonal skills, helping children to better navigate their social environments while fostering emotional intelligence and empathy.

Tips for parents and educators

• Read Together: Take time to read the story aloud with your child and discuss each page to reinforce understanding.
• Role-Playing: Use role-play activities to practice alternative behaviors, like asking for a tissue instead of spitting, in a fun and supportive way.
• Create a Visual: Make a chart together that lists appropriate places and times for different activities, including spitting, to reinforce learning.
• Positive Reinforcement: Acknowledge and celebrate your child’s efforts when they remember to use good manners in real-life situations.
• Use Everyday Moments: Refer back to the story during daily routines to help your child connect the lessons to their own experiences.
• Encourage Discussion: Ask open-ended questions about how they would feel if someone spit near them and what they would prefer instead.